Supervixen

Moved

2009-08-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

I've moved! Please ask me personally for my new blog addy..

xoxo!

Remember Me This Way

2009-05-22T15:44:00.002+08:00

Do you remember??

my antidotes

2009-04-20T11:05:00.002+08:00

.My favourite.

I love y'all!!

***

I'll sing it one last time for you,

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we'll make it anywhere

Away from here

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly die

2009-04-14T15:31:00.002+08:00

Each day of my life, I'm filled with all the joy I could find

You know that I'm not the desperate type

If theres one spark of hope left in my grasp

I'll be holding it with both hands

It's worth the risk of burning

To have a second chance

2009-04-08T11:29:00.003+08:00

I am so dead sleepy! For the past week or so, I've been lacking of sleep!

And last night was a blast hanging out til 4am!

I swear by then, I could feel the elephants hanging fighting against me to shut my eyes.

And I am pretty happy that I didn't lose my voice after the saga last night. Hah.

Even though I am keeping myself pretty occupied, I know a part of me is feeling empty. The unusual empty feeling. The unusual-crying-empty-feeling you know?

I miss you so fucking much Fafa. So m*fucking much.

I hope all is well.

I still am your girlfriend.

That's why I still care.

I'm Yours =)

2009-04-06T22:29:00.001+08:00

Jason Mraz - Im Yours (Official Video) -

I miss this song. So so much.

And for now, Lisa is just a pain in the ass screaming like a frantic woman. =) Crazy bitch.

Blurry

2009-04-06T14:28:00.004+08:00

Everything's so blurry, and everyone's so fake. And everybody's empty and everything is so messed up. Pre-occupied without you I cannot live at all. My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl. You could be my someone, you could be my scene. I want to be protected from all of the obscene. I wonder what you're doing, imagine where you are. There's oceans in between us but that's not very far.

Can you take it all away?

Well you shoved it in my face, this pain you gave to me.

Can you take it all away?

Everyone is changing, there's noone left that's real. To make up your own ending, and let me know just how you feel. Cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all. My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl.

Nobody told me what you thought. Nobody told me what to say. Everyone showed you where to turn, told you when to runaway. Nobody told you where to hide. Nobody told you what to say. Everyone showed you where to turn, showed you when to runaway...

2009-04-02T11:28:00.002+08:00

This is tormenting.

I am a liar.

I bullshit.

I have so much things to hide.

I am having my share of fun with other guys?

You have got to be kidding me.

What hurts the most is that when you are true, loyal, faithful, you get accused of the things you are not, and that one person who means so much to you, refuses to listen. What more believe you.

I shall shut up and say no more. For I know it's beyond salvation.

Crushed

2009-04-01T09:28:00.002+08:00

Watch my life, pass me by. In the rear view mirror. Pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer. I don't wanna waste another day, stuck in the shadow of my mistakes. Cause I want you, and I feel you, crawling underneath my skin. Like a hunger, like a burning. To find a place I've never been. Now I'm broken, and I'm faded. I'm half the girl I thought I would be : But you can have what's left of me.

I've been dying inside, little by little, no where to go. But going out of my mind in endless circles. Running from my self until you gave me a reason for standing still. It's falling faster, barely breathing. Give me something to believe in. Tell me: It's not all in my head take what's left of this girl. Make me whole once again.

I give you my life, would not think twice. Your love is all I need believe me. I may not say it quite as much as I should. When I say I love you darling that means for good. So open up your heart and let me in.

Girlfriends are L.O.V.E

2009-03-30T18:55:00.003+08:00

(the missing bitches in the pic are Eme and Michelle)

My girls are my life.

My everything.

My sunshine after the rain.

My cure against my fear and my pain.

I love you bitches so so so much!

2009-03-29T15:40:00.002+08:00

What is love, without trust?

I am no kid.

And definitely not the person you think I am.

Is This You?

2009-03-12T14:18:00.003+08:00

These, I miss.

It's you, I miss.

Love,

Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead.

Held up so high, on such a breakable thread.

2009-03-10T10:43:00.002+08:00

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

It's Friday I'm in Love

2009-03-06T15:55:00.002+08:00

I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too

Thursday I don't care about you

It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

Oh, Thursday doesn't even start

It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday, wait

And Sunday always comes too late

But Friday, never hesitate...

I don't care if Mondays black

Tuesday, Wednesday - heart attack

Thursday, never looking back

It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday, you can hold your head

Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed

Or Thursday - watch the walls instead

It's Friday, I'm in love

Saturday, wait

And Sunday always comes too late

But Friday, never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes

It's a wonderful surprise

To see your shoes and your spirits rise

Throwing out your frown

And just smiling at the sound

And as sleek as a sheik

Spinning round and round

Always take a big bite

It's such a gorgeous sight

To see you eat in the middle of the night

You can never get enough

Enough of this stuff

It's Friday, I'm in love

Di Antara Kalian

2009-02-26T15:36:00.002+08:00

Di Antara Kalian - D`MASIV

Ku akui ku sangat sangat menginginkan mu
Tapi kini kusadar ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Ku akui ku sangat sangat mengharapkan mu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku tak akan bisa
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa ku harus memilikimu slamanya

Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi
Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa ku harus memilikimu slamanya

2009-02-26T14:30:00.001+08:00

I am not a girl.
Not yet a woman.

So you have to try to understand.

Sigh.

2009-02-25T11:12:00.003+08:00

.Forgive Me.

Must Watch!!

2009-02-23T11:14:00.004+08:00

This movie brought tears to my whole family.

And I watched it twice. In a day.

=))

Nintendo DS

2009-02-17T11:05:00.002+08:00

I am currently hooked to my colleague's Nintendo DS.

I know I am playing some sick retard's games but I am loving it.

Next item on my wishlist.

Nintendo DS!!

*winks to Mr F.*

And he's leaving for Russia for the next 6 days.

POUT!

And I know I've not been updating the blog.

I am busy busy busy!

2009-02-08T18:52:00.003+08:00

There's nothing I could say to you, nothing I could ever do to make you see, what you mean to me. All the pain, the tears I cried, still you never said goodbye and now I know, how far you'd go. I know I let you down but it's not like that now. This time I'll never let you go.

I will be, all that you want and get myself together. Cause you keep me from falling apart. All my life, I'll be with you forever to get you through the day and make everything okay.

I thought that I had everything. I didn't know what life could bring but now I see, honestly. You're the one thing I got right. The only one I let inside now I can breathe, cause you're here with me.

And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around. Cause I would never let you go

Cause without you I cant sleep. I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave. You're all I've got, you're all I want and without you I don't know what I'd do. I can never, ever live a day without you. Here with me, do you see, you're all I need...

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-02-08T18:09:00.003+08:00

My birthday was/is a blast! I get to spend it with the people I love. My precious precious Mr F, my best girlfriends, my brother and the lovable peeps.

I will elaborate more when I have the pics uploaded.

And my 2 angels way of wishing me...

I feel so loved. =))

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.

Damn I'm a year older now.

Snuff

2009-02-07T15:53:00.005+08:00

Bury all your secrets in my skin. Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins. The air around me still feels like a cage. And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage. So if you love me let me go. And run away before I know. My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there. Deliver me into my fate. If I'm alone I cannot hate. I don't deserve to have you. My smile was taken long ago. If I change I hope I never know.

P/S: What's written above is not for anyone. Just something I find interesting.

I Love You.

2009-02-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining
your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

Blading with the clumsy one

2009-01-20T20:16:00.004+08:00

We went blading one Sunday afternoon and it was pure fun.
Even though he sucks at it.
But at least he tried.
Plus he stops at every pole which can save him.
=))

I've never laughed so hard for a long long time.

2009-01-17T18:32:00.001+08:00

And I look 16..

*floating over the moon*

I love you Fai~

Weeee!~

Hibernating

2009-01-16T11:57:00.003+08:00

I'm wishing upon the stars that I'll get better in a few days time.

Sometimes I ponder and ask myself, do I deserve all these? All these upheavals that are going on and on in my life?

I feel pathetic. I just feel sorry for myself.

Mr F cannot always be there 24/7.

SIGH!

Now I really want my Granny. :((

my 'footballer' boyfie

2009-01-08T15:20:00.002+08:00

Somehow this pic just gives me butterflies-on-fire in my little tummy.

=))

Orgasmic.

You make me smile baby~

Crazy Sister I Am

2009-01-06T20:13:00.003+08:00

How do you react when your sister suddenly scream so super loud, in the middle of a shopping centre, when you just refuse to carry her cup of Fruit Punch for her?

For my dear brother, he walked away and pretend he didn't know me. And I still continue to humiliate him. =)

Nyeheheh!

Just a moment of madness for me this evening.

After being insulted of being ungrateful.
And my generation who takes things for granted.

Oh well.

2009-01-05T15:41:00.001+08:00

Happy 6 Monthsary to us!

=))

A New Beginning

2009-01-03T21:38:00.003+08:00

As I enter Wilmer House, I can see myself as happy as can be.

I seriously cannot wait for the arrival of my significant other in less than 10 hours!!

Oh well. It's the 4th day of 2009 and so far things are ok. I really hope that I'll be more positive this year round.

& it's our 6th Monthsary this Monday. Heee~

I'm gonna find something interesting to do for the next few hours before forcing myself to go to bed.

*twirls*

xoxo

Happy 2009!!

2009-01-01T14:25:00.003+08:00

And the best gift for the New Year is the return of my Francois Dotta.
2 more days.
Weeee!~

i don't want to lose you...

2008-12-29T20:40:00.004+08:00

... so don't stop loving me.

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly

And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you,
I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time

And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you, more than you'll know

And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway

Love is in a faraway land....

2008-12-22T12:09:00.008+08:00

It's only almost 4 days and it seems like it's 4 weeks that he's been away.

(Ok pardon me for exaggerating.)

I am trying to occupy as much time as I can with friends and family so that I wouldn't be feeling his absence. But then again, I whine every 2 minutes about missing him.

How??!!!
.

Tsk.

So anyways, for the first time in my life, I took the River Cruise along the Singapore River with Michelle on Saturday night. I didn't even know that the statue of Sir Stamford Raffles stands somewhere near Boat Quay! Hah. We had fun though. Laughing at almost everything. By the time we arrived at Clarke Quay for dinner, I was almost as good as dead. No wait. WE were almost dead after walking almost all over Orchard to search for Christmas gifts. Yeah my bank balance is descending and I am not happy about it. Pfffft!

Oh and I bumped into Mr F's friend who suddenly came up to my ear and went "Where's my present?!" I swear I almost fainted and I hugged him real real tight (which I've never done before!) and imagine he's Mr F can? For that very moment I thought Mr F was still in Singapore. And I felt really weird after. *blush*

Sunday was spent lazing + bumming @ the beach with Michelle again. I refrain myself from thinking too much about my other half but after a short while, I begin my whining again. Why am I such a pain? I wish I can answer that myself but I think I can't.

Went to shop for a bit for the last minute presents and I bought Mr F this very nice frame for the room. Went to print loads of pictures of us after.

&& I bumped into my Dad's whole family!!! My uncles and aunts and cousins and all! I was wearing a tube and an ultra mini skirt and they have not seen me worn like that ever! Yes they are really pias and staunch and I was so embarrassed of myself.

Boy oh boy~ I dreamt of you like for 2 nights consecutively and each time I wake
up with my smelly brother's face beside me, I almost go bonkers!

Pout Pout POUT!!!

13 more days and I can poke Mr F's face every morning again... Weeee!~

2008-12-17T09:38:00.003+08:00

Finally, last night passed without any tiff.

If only everyday is going to be the same, I'd prolly be the happiest girl ever.

No doubt I noticed something was amidst but I do not want to dwell into it.

I've had enough if the emotional roller-coaster and I want to embrace the next 2 days without it.

We were so dead after dinner. All thanks to the non-stop agendas we had since Saturday.

Bluergh.

&& he's leaving for France for blardee 16 days this Friday.

*pout*

Ok. I wanted to upload the pics from Zoukout and the Christmas Dinner but Blogger is being such a bitch since yesterday!

Knn!

Til then, ciao~

I love Mr F!!

I Need You

2008-12-16T14:56:00.004+08:00

There'll be a point of time when everything is just so wrong and the only thing you want to do is cry your eyes out, scream out loud, roll on the floor, rip your hair off and then slowly put yourself to a deep...deep sleep.

I'm losing myself.

Someone please hold me tight... and never let go.

Please?

2008-12-15T09:56:00.000+08:00

The aftermath of ZoukOut is so not gone yet.

Bluergh!

:-@

2008-12-09T16:55:00.003+08:00

Jaded.

Very minimum Bali pics will be up soon.

Mr F, thank you for your patience.

2008-12-05T13:36:00.003+08:00

I fucking HATE people who can't keep to their words.

You can promise me the moon, make yourself look fucking pathetic and after helping you, you turn your fucking back against me!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!

You think I earn big bucks to pay off your fucking debts or what?

Money destroys family, friends, respect... Everything!

I've had it!

2008-12-01T14:33:00.002+08:00

It feels so good to wake up beside someone you love, snoring away beside you.

=))

My Best Friend

2008-11-29T21:48:00.005+08:00

When I'm all alone and I begin to reflect, my life is not too bad after all.

There are other people out there who is going thru much more than I am.

I dedicate this entry to my best friend, Emelya.

I'll spare the details for what she's going thru but I must say she is going thru a lot right now.

Looking at how things are, I feel useless sometimes when there's nothing much that I can do other than being by her side as much as I can. Oh well.

The relentless strength she has, I envy her. I wonder how she can make it this far.

Eme.

Let me be the wind beneath your wings. Let me know how I can help.

I'll be by your side thru your darkest hours. I promise.

I love you.

It hurts to know you're hurting

Because you're so special in my heart

The pain that you're feeling

Is tearing me apart

But know that love has a way

Of easing all that's wrong

Together we can make it

If we hold on and just be strong

Know that you're not alone

In all adversity

For by your side through and through

Is where I'll always be.

Uplifting

2008-11-28T15:03:00.005+08:00

I cannot remember when was the last time I feel absolutely nothing when I listen to mellow, depressing songs.

And now whenever I tune into my sullen playlist, I feel really nothing.

And I reckon that I am happy right now.

I was just discussing this issue with Eme last night and she said the same thing.

I am happy. No plunging dagger in the heart kinda feeling anymore.

That's why I am loving my Mr F. more and more.

He lifts me up and bring out the happiness in me.

And it means a lot to me.

Have a safe trip to Thailand. I am worried with the situation there but I know you'll be more happier if I stop worrying.

So have fun and hope you win the tournament.

And make your gf proud.

I love you.

I love Eme.

New Blog Skin

2008-11-25T22:02:00.003+08:00

I realize that it took me less than 3 hours to create a new blog skin!
Maybe because I am a pro already? =) Nyeheh.

Have been hogging on the phone with the bestie for hours.
And I am missing a whole lot of people.

Can't wait for Friday. And Mr F is leaving for Phuket this Friday too. Tsk!

Liyana Spotted!

2008-11-24T22:13:00.007+08:00

...bear with me with this 'full of myself' entry.

I feel like a superstar with pics being taken by the paparazzi.
(Oh yes you can puke all you want but I still feel like a star ok!)

Don't you agree? Oui?

And somewhere in my photo album, I found Bitha trying to get Is to capture jumping pictures of herself but she looks so heavy. Nyeh!
But then again, I miss these two brats.
Just as I need some attention before going to bed... I receive:-
"Finishing my work babi"
I POUT!

2008-11-20T08:18:00.002+08:00

I hope.

I wish.

I scream.

I beg.

...

For everything to be better than before.

...

I love you.

2008-11-19T12:28:00.006+08:00

Am crushed you doubted me.

I thought you understood.

I misjudged you.

I just want you to know,

How much you mean to me.

And how painful it can be

To go through this on my own.

I've tried to go on like it didn't happened

I'm awake but my world is half asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

Baking

2008-11-17T15:13:00.002+08:00

I really² feel like baking.

Scones? Cookies? Puffs? Cake?

Anyone?

2008-11-14T13:58:00.001+08:00

A swollen right eye.
Lack of sleep.
Lack of Mr F.

.
But a whole lot of love for Michelle R.

Am so fucking tired lah!

Once upon a time...

2008-11-13T03:36:00.002+08:00

I remembered once when we slept at 4 and were blissfully happy about it.
and now it's 0330 and he's all moody and grumpy.
Oh well. I reckon that everything is so right only during the 'honeymoon period'.
Sigh...

Can I...

2008-11-12T09:50:00.000+08:00

...Spend my lifetime loving you?

a lot of everything

2008-11-10T12:19:00.003+08:00

Weekend was good.
Have been pigging out like there's no tomorrow.
Feeling bloated right now.
.
Shopped a bit.
Laughed a lot.
Eat A LOT.
Miss him a lot too. Hee~
.
Busy right now.
.
Pics of Afil's Birthday up soon.
.
=))

The Infamous PMS!!

2008-11-07T08:56:00.004+08:00

The feeling of wanting to hide under my desk and sleep til noon is so super tempting!

I'm as good as a walking dead.

I'm so absent minded. So sleepy.

Can't open my eyes. Can't work. Can't think. Can't talk. Can't do almost everything!

Plus I feel that PMS is coming knocking on my door, not nice at all.

Grrrr!

Mr F. Enough for the week.

That goes for me as well. Just in case.

A very sleepy Liyana

It's Your Love

2008-11-05T10:19:00.005+08:00

Dancing in the dark

Middle of the night

Taking your heart

Holding it tight

Emotional touch...

Touching my skin

Asking you to do

What you've been doing

All over again

It's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

I've just gotta let you know

What it is that won't let me go

It's your love

Just does something to me

Sends a shock right through me

Can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

...It's your love...

Better than I was

More than I am

All of that happened

By taking your hand

Who I am now

Is who I've wanted to be

Now that we're together...

Stronger than ever, happy and free

It's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

And if you ask me how I'll change

All I gotta do is say your sweet name...

xoxo

2008-11-04T15:13:00.004+08:00

Busy
Shagged
Distorted
.
I-Am-Gonna-Fucking-Go-Nuts.
If You Ever Stop Loving Me...

Short Weekend pouts

2008-11-03T09:55:00.003+08:00

I really feel the weekend is super short.

And I did not have enough of him.

Grrrrr!

Pig-ish

2008-10-30T11:42:00.006+08:00

I don't know why I am feeling super sleepy today.

Slept at about 1-ish.

Up at 8 and yes I was late for work.

The babi in me is taking its toll again.

Do you miss me? Coz...

*pouts*

Two Choices

2008-10-29T11:34:00.004+08:00

I read a very uplifting email from a fellow friend this morning and it kind of changed my day so far.

It says that your mood very much depends on what you want it to be.

In a good mood or bad one.

And if you always look on the positive side, things can be better each day.

And yes I am in a very happy mood today. (Despite the fact that I have to face some intolerable faces at home last night)

Mummy has been a pain calling me and making long conversations while I am at work.

I don't know how to stop her from talking when she starts.

I met the angels last night. I can feel how much they've grown. To be more like a friend now than the little girls I used to dote on so much.

I still recall how weird Bitha can be when she was younger.

Shitting silently at every corner of the house. Heee~

And how much Shilka loves the movie Grease and to reminisce the time when she danced all over the house and strip down to only her undies. That pendek little girl. Still pendek she is. =)

Planning for a food-marathon + manicure-pedicure session with them.

Mr F. is having a long long day today. Poor thing.

I am hoping he doesn't get all grumpy at the end of today.

And crossing my fingers that he will get a charger for his phone!

Boy-oh-boy. I am missing you.

Am heading to the gym now. Bluergh!

Bisous

=)))

Monyet Malas

2008-10-28T11:00:00.005+08:00

... and now he has changed my nickname from "Babi Malas" to "Monyet Malas".

Isn't he just so irritating?

And almost all his friends call me by "Babi". Grrrr!~

The lazy weekend was quality. Lots of laughter. Being a pain in each other ass-es. And I get to know him a lot better. *twirls*

I can't seem to upload the pics from our Phuket Trip! View it on Facebook then.

Oh well.

Mr F = Love Love Love

And he's leaving me for China today.

*pouts*

.
xoxo

And to BFF - Fuck Off! Get a life. Move on. Cunt.

A Trip To Remember

2008-10-21T14:37:00.006+08:00

We didn't want to go back.

Like I said earlier, what more can I ask for?

An extravagant room.

Beautiful beach.

Friendly Thais.

I had my private in-room dance performance. *winks*

And most importantly, my amazing boyfriend, Mr F.

Of course we did had some scary-almost-drove-ourselves-to-strangle-each-other talks but we managed to pull it thru.

Thank you Babi Malas for making it happen. :)

I love you...

I'll upload the pics when I'm @ home. For now I don't have the time.

Phuket

2008-10-16T16:42:00.003+08:00

I can't wait for tomorrow!

What more can I ask for?

xoxo

I Said I'm Sorry

2008-10-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

Spare me the heartbreak.
I said I am sorry.
And to ask me to leave you alone when I never did that to you before, it's upsetting.
Effing upsetting...

Oh well. Looking on the other side, what can be any worst than cheating husbands?!
Son-of-a-BITCH Shahrome. You fucking ruined my bestie's life.

2008-10-14T15:46:00.000+08:00

Why are they fucking more important to you?!!!

Who am I to you? WHO?!!!!!

Boys in Kurung

2008-10-14T12:35:00.002+08:00

I was browsing Facebook and came across pictures of the (boy)friends in Baju Kurung all set with samping and songkok.

I suddenly feel all nostalgic and they are oh-so-lovely!

My knees can go weak and wobbly and jelly-ish and I love love love it lah!

I suka boys in baju kurung can?

2008-10-14T12:05:00.004+08:00

Can someone hear me SCREAM?!!!!!

It's eating me up... Slowly...

Tummy Aches and Heart Aches

2008-10-12T21:44:00.004+08:00

My days has been pretty short since my health has been down and out.

The suffering nights of not being able to sleep.

The excruciating pain.

And having to bear it alone. For the first few nights.

With much gratitude, I am far more thankful to have my brother around.

Despite the fact that he had his school Sports Carnival, he dropped everything to accompany me to the hospital. Thank you so much Adik. If there's any stronger word than "thank you", that's how I wish to extend to you.

Mr F. has been there thru my sleepless nights. Non-stop whinings. And worst of all, had to bear with my tantrums when I am in pain.

And on top of that, I think I am not being reasonable for one thing or another.

Some facts are really hard to swallow. Even though it's long over. Or at least as far as I know it is OVER. It cuts like a knife to reminisce the party and the nonchalant him when he speaks. Or worst, when he compliments other women like I am invisible. Is he used to the single-hood that the likelihood of him doing such insensitive things are really high? You think?

I do question myself whether I am being too sensitive? Unreasonable? Difficult? Or am I just being me?

Nowadays, it feels like it's really hard to express myself to him. Especially when I think I am being made a fool. The least he could do is to give face to me. The minimum. No?

I can't think of how to comprehend my feelings further.

I might be wrong.

I hate this darn feeling.

Nevertheless, I'll still give all the love in the world.

PMS

2008-10-08T21:38:00.003+08:00

My tummy is fucking painful!

It's super bloated.

And it feels like its fucking burning inside.

FUCK!

I had 10 fucking panadols already but the fucking pain just can't fucking go away!

And the boyfriend is just so fucking busy today.

CB!

Bliss*

2008-10-07T15:53:00.004+08:00

I am in a super blissfully happy mode today.

*twirls around the office*

He's back!

Emmmmmuuaaaah!

xoxo

Angel?

2008-10-05T23:14:00.003+08:00

After staying in bed since Friday, I was finally out of the house!

Like what Granny said, "I only can see your face at home when you're sick. You suddenly become the ultimate angel."

Tak baik kan?

I had my wax appointment this afternoon and this time I feel like my skin is going to tear apart when the therapist pulls the wax strip from my skin.

Maybe because I'm having fever and my skin is ultra sensitive lah.

Went to Dina's place for a tea party or something like that.

I almost got lost in her condo. Plus I had a really grumpy cabby. I swear I can hear him cursing and swearing while driving. He must be insane.

I was whining to Mr F about getting lost but it seems that he's oblivious about it.

"Give me 1 minute of your time and you can search for her place after."

Tsk! Not so nice of you!

I know phone bills are expensive but I am deprived of your attention can?

I was bombarded with questions about Mr F. the moment I got into D's house.

Where's French Bean?

Where's your frenchie?

Why never bring your boyfriend?

And the other Grandma said "Must bring him to my house ok? Make sure you bring him ok?"

Grrrrr!

One day. One fine day Grandma. :)

I can't seem to upload pics from D's place lah. Irritating sangat!!!

Oh well.

15 mins to Monday!! And he's back on Tuesday morning.

I was telling him he can't leave me for long anymore only to remember he's going home to Monaco for longer end of the year!

*pouts*

xoxo

Rome

2008-10-04T01:10:00.003+08:00

If there's one place I MUST go before I die, it will be Romantic Rome!
It's just so captivating.
alahai~
.
.
I want him back now can?
.
3 days to go.

Ill

2008-10-03T09:04:00.003+08:00

My immune system is detesting against me.

I am down with cold, fever, sore-throat and a really bad cough.

Am in the office and I feel like everything around me is spinning.

I need my remedy back now! Pfffft!

He's all excited about penguins, whales and baboons.

Sometimes it feels like I am with a 10 year old boy.

Oh fuck I miss him to the core!

4 more days to go. Wait. Is it 3?

*sigh*

xoxo

Eid Mubarak

2008-10-01T22:24:00.008+08:00

I have never felt so much happier in 2008.

I didn't expect much for this year's Hari Raya, but there are truckloads of surprises that came my way.

The super crazy preparations got me all drained, but it's worth every single minute of it lah!

The cleaning...
in my Ooh-La-La bedroom slippers. =D

The cooking.
And more cleaning after. Urgh!

Mummy came to celebrate with us. Everything turn out to be ok.
Mummy and Fibi are LOVE can?

Then at abt 2100 hrs, I received a call from Daddy saying he's entering the carpark to my place!
With no further a due, I rushed downstairs to give him the biggest bear hug.
My wish came true. My other half's prayers for me were answered.

I got to spend this Raya with both my parents.
To think of it again, it brought me tears of joy.

Oh well. I am far beyond satisfied today.

The only person missing now is my Mr F.
He's busy playing with wild animals and pee-ing by the road side. Hee~

=))

xoxo

*When the clock strikes 12, it's 5 days more to go.*

& my sore throat is not getting any better!! Cb.
Tsk!

Is This What You Call Love?

2008-10-01T03:57:00.010+08:00

The butterflies-on-fire in my tummy.
The ultimate missing feeling when he's not around.
The checking of phone every 3 mins to see if he texts.
The way his eyes gaze at you.
Just the way I glow when I'm around him.

I am falling even more in love with you.

I am blessed, thankful, happy, contented to have you.

Je T'aime Mon Cheri!!

Cause deep in my heart
I knew that it was love
And it turns me on like
When the sun goes down
And the moon comes up
Sweet, sweet love like no other man
Has been touched
By this simple process of... love

I wish there was a way to show you
My love is real
But webster hasn't found the words
To express how I feel
Well, just like a river
Needs the rain to flow
You've warmed a heart
That once was cold...

xoxo

6 days

I Wish..

2008-09-30T19:15:00.005+08:00

.
I wish I am with both my Mum and Dad now.

And as for Mr F, 7 days and counting down...

F1 Fever

2008-09-29T13:12:00.011+08:00

A moment to remember.

I was almost close to being deaf by the sound of the roaring engines.

And I must say that it was a blast!!!

I shared it with one of the most important guy in my life on Saturday. My Brother...

And the VIP of my ~~life~~ heart on Sunday, my other half, Mr F.

Upclose with Lewis Hamilton.

Fernando Alonso
& Nico Rosberg!!

Ain't I lucky? All thanks to the boyfriend, that I was given the VIP Privileges.

And having to share the moment with you, it means so much to me.

I love you. With all my heart.

xoxo

p/s: Sunday definitely compensates your absence for the next 7 days!

Hope

2008-09-26T13:13:00.005+08:00

It's never ever a good thing to set high hopes on someone/something.
Because when it doesn't go the way you want it, you experience an ugly emotion.
*That Sheer Disappointment*
Rendering all thoughts of letting your fragile little heart to hope again.
You're actually aware of it.
Yet you can do nothing.
But to hope again.

Oh well.

I'm drained.

xoxo

F1 Grand Prix

2008-09-25T16:10:00.003+08:00

I can't wait!!

Hope I wouldn't be deaf after I leave the GrandStand.

P/S: I love you Mr F!

2008-09-25T10:51:00.002+08:00

I get frustrated easily a little too often nowadays. Lack of understanding will only bring us down and out in a blink of an eye. It upsets me so much that sensitivity in me is taking its toll.

I ought to be emotionally, mentally and physically strong.

For you.

If you can't understand me, I MUST understand you.

Where.Do.I.Stand.In.Your.Life?

2008-09-24T15:38:00.002+08:00

Eff!

What more can I say?

Do I have a choice?

No.

Enough said.

I Miss....

2008-09-23T00:12:00.008+08:00

I Miss...

..Mini-Me

...the allmost perfect 'siblings' portrait

...Random nights out with the Best Friend

...My Beach Bummer

...Hari Raya 2006

...Fireworks @ Marina with TRC

...Family Outings

...Getting wasted and meeting random acquaintances

...Rouge!!

...Holidays with the twins

...JupJup

...MOS-ing

...KawaAkib

...The NOT-pregnant Eme

...Being naughty ;)

And him..!!!!

Can I turn back the hands of time?

xoxo

Un-Noticed

2008-09-22T23:25:00.005+08:00

While we were lying down, getting ready to sleep, watching Californication and I was blabbering about something when I noticed I was being ignored.

Me: Sometimes I think I like to talk to myself.
Mr F: I think so too.

Tsk!

I was being sarcastic. Duh!

2008-09-20T15:10:00.002+08:00

Still feeling shitty as ever.

I don't want to socialize.

I don't want to go out.

I want to be alone,

With him.

... & only him.

Raul

2008-09-18T13:33:00.004+08:00

Raul finally finished serving his 2 years service with the government.

In other words, ORD-oh!

Have never seen him so happy in his life. I mean besides seeing me. Hee.

Question: You finished NS already?

Raul's Answer: Is NS a vitamin?

Nabei!

Was with Raul, and Michelle came down in the evening.

I was in a foul mood last night. Whiney. Grumpy. Cranky.

And I miss Mr F so much lah!

So proud to have his IC back lor.

We did some 'photoshoot' in Raul's very own 'studio'. Pics are a wee bit explicit. Will contemplate whether I'll ever upload them.

.XOXO.

Matahari Ku

2008-09-17T13:45:00.005+08:00

Matahari Ku

Agnes Monica

Tertutup Sudah Pintu, Pintu Hatiku

Yang Pernah Dibuka Waktu Hanya Untukmu

Kini Kau Pergi Dari Hidupku

Kuharus Relakanmu Walau Aku Tak Mau

Berjuta Warna Pelangi Di Dalam Hati

Sejenak Luluh Bergeming Menjauh Pergi

Tak Ada Lagi Cahaya Suci

Semua Nada Beranjak Aku Terdiam Sepi

Dengarlah Matahariku, Suara Tangisanku

Kubersedih Karna Panah Cinta Menusuk Jantungku

Ucapkan Matahariku Puisi Tentang Hidupku

Tentangku Yang Tak Mampu Menaklukkan Waktu

2008-09-17T12:57:00.004+08:00

My mood went down when I hear the Raya songs on air.

Especially when Aishah's Pulanglah went off.

On the verge of tears. Can't stay home any longer.

Am getting ready to meet Raul.

This year is just so different.

No one break fast together at home.

It used to be 'us' who will be at Dad's place every weekend to join him for dinner.

No baking. For anyone.

To think of what my family has done to me.

And to celebrate Raya 'alone' this year.

JUST.MAKE.ME.WANT.TO.BREAK.DOWN.AND.CRY

...& scream my heart out

You're.Stuck.In.My.Head

2008-09-16T10:53:00.005+08:00

From the moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you..
While combing my hair now
And wond'ring what dress to wear now
I say a little prayer for you...

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart, and I'll love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part, oh I love you
Together, forever, that's how it should be
Living without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me...

I run for the bus dear,
while riding I think of us dear,
I say a lil prayer for you
At work I just take time,
and all through my coffee break time
I say a lil prayer for you...

My darling believe me
For me there is no one but you
Say you love me too...

I've been humming to this song since I was on my way to work.

Maybe because I am feeling all bubbly, jovial and glow-ey!

My utmost effort to please him after a hard day of insult + (almost) balls squeezing + (also almost) ruthless killings in the office. So I had to pose like this and like that in the kitchen for him while trying to concentrate cooking. Bah!

xoxo

p/s: I miss my brother so so much.

Bangkok Dangerous?

2008-09-15T11:14:00.006+08:00

The Magalenha song is stuck in my head since I woke up this morning.

To please myself, I almost downloaded that stupid song on Mr F's phone. But just getting to hear a bit of it, I am pleased. =))

I had dinner gathering with Dad, family and family friends on Saturday night. The food was awesome! Dad cooked my 2 favourite dish. His signature pizza and the Cili Padi Beef thingy(which I fed my face with non stop!!). There was also the Cili Crab which I just refuse to pig out because there was too many people around and I know I will look horrible+ugly+babi-ish. You do not want to see how I eat crabs. Not nice. Really. Got home @ Mr F's place at abt 10-ish and headed out with Michelle @ past midnight. To Velvet and then to Bed Supper Club. Got pissed drunk. Misbehaved. Puked. Pfffft! I really think I ruined Mr F's Saturday night. Still feeling shitty about it.

Dad's Cili Crab

My Favourite Dish!!!!

Ok I remembered watching a movie with Mr F on one of the nights but I really can't remember when. Friday maybe? Is it? Oh yes(I think!). Watched Bangkok Dangerous and it was good! A bit gruesome though. I missed like 15 mins of the movie due to some unforeseen circumstances, but I managed to understand and enjoyed the movie then after. He wanted to watch it in Gold Class so badly and I think it's a waste of money. The seat is super comfortable that you can fall asleep anytime.

Baby Shower yesterday. Nothing much to say besides THE BABY IS SO CUTE!!!

Don't mind the burnt me. I was baking myself in the hot sun since 10am!

My super lazy Mr F who is on the phone 24/7!

I am the one who will be throwing your phone to the wall! Pffft!

xoxo,

Liyana =))

Fugro

2008-09-12T13:53:00.002+08:00

Today is my 1 year anniversary!!

Yay!

=))

F*^%K!!

2008-09-12T10:10:00.003+08:00

I've finally watched Ayat-Ayat Cinta and I so so so so so so LOVE it!
And surprise², I watched it with Mr F. Haha.
There's English subtitles of course.
And I wept a few times.

I was having a good morning. Waking up beside my sunshine. Watching him being as lazy as ever.
...until some bastard called me CHEAP and a SLUT!!
W(AT)T(HE)F(UCK)??
I have never done anything to allow you to say that to me RUDY!
I have been loyal and faithful with you back then and you have NO FUCKING RIGHT to discriminate me like that. Absolutely no right!
You can call me a bitch but not a slut!
YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON-OF-A-BITCH+WHORE!
FUCKING CUNT!
BASTARD!

I do not need to prove myself. You fucking know you're saying all these because you can't have me. L.O.S.E.R!

Pfffft!

2008-09-11T08:48:00.000+08:00

i miss him x314368743!!!!

bluergh!

2008-09-09T09:16:00.000+08:00

I am so .FUCKED. up

.Enough said for today.

No More Monday Blues! =))

2008-09-08T14:43:00.003+08:00

My 'long' weekend is finally over and am feeling better than ever!

No Monday blues. No crankiness. Not grumpy. Just blissfully chirpy.

Mr F met my aunt and uncles and grandma and brothers and family friends on Friday.

You should see how tensed and nervous he looked like. =)) So so cute!

Well it was payback time for him last night! Grrrr...

Look at his 'un-smiley' face!

**********************

I stole this pic from Mr F's Facebook. *giggle*

I find this very very cute!!!!

Signing off,

A Very Happy Liyana =))

Toxic

2008-09-04T10:32:00.002+08:00

Besides the fact that I am mentally tired, I woke up today feeling a lot better.

Mr F toxic-fied me! =))

And to my dear friend, I can't help you in any way.

I.AM.SO.OVER.THESE.CHILDISH.FIGHTS!.

Don't get me involved. I mean it!

Love,

Liyana xoxo

=)))))

2008-09-02T16:45:00.004+08:00

&& I stole something from Silly Shilly's blog...

I suka this picture!

Dreams?

2008-09-02T09:25:00.002+08:00

I find it disturbing / weird that each time I think too much about something, I'll bring it to sleep. And I SO hate it!

It's been a little more than 2 months that Mr F and myself are 'going out' together. Time flies when you are having fun. Agree? I have to admit that the journey was not really smooth sailing. From ex-bf, emotional down-turns, insecurities and dilemma. Which! I think I've made it thru and I take what had happened as a test of endurance, patience and strength we have. But most importantly, the love we have within us. (Ok I am beginning to have goosebumps to be all mushy... Urgh!) am sure there'll be more rocky road to come, but it all depends on how we take things. Right?

The best friend is a little out of track. I don't want to comment further other than I am still upset about her.

Met up with the Yong sisters on Wednesday evening for dinner and drinks. I've not seen them for a little less than a year and they have changed drastically. Physically I mean. But definitely not their character. We have so much to catch up on and so little time to spare. But I must say that I did enjoy that sacred hours I have with them. They are love!

Ok my tummy is protesting againt me! Maybe because I had Coke for breakfast. Gotta run!

xoxo
-liyana-

p/s: I have the ultimate cute pic of Mr F carrying a baby. Will post it soon. Muaaah!

2008-08-28T10:44:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for tonight.

*swirls around*

=X

2008-08-26T21:45:00.002+08:00

I so hate this angry + disappointed + don't-want-to-be-bothered-anymore feeling! Someone/something just have to spoil my mood. Grrrr!

I am so bothered to drop everything I have today for her and she just played me out like that. Hmmmph! I just hate this irksome of self-pity but I can't help it. She doesn't pity me, I PITY MYSELF! Tsk!

Ok ok, no more depressing, morbid post.

Day has been alright. I am at my laziest these past few days. Sleeping early, and still continue sleeping in transport to work. So oinkish like that. Things are beginning to pick up. Am glad I'm out of the whirlwind of uncontrollable emotions. Precious is in Jakarta. Fasting month is like in less than a week. So no more sleepovers for the next month. *pouts* GF proposed to go to Surabaya for a short getaway during fasting month. I think she's nuts. Need a good massage/spa/tan. This entry is like so random lor.

I NEED TO SHOP SHOP SHOP!!!

FAI!!!!!!!!!

Signed, sealed, delivered..

Liyana

p/s: Jamie Spears(Britney's sister) is being taken for a ride from her fiance, Casey. Poor little girl. I don't know why I am saying this but I think the public needs to know. =))

=))

2008-08-25T09:14:00.004+08:00

I've realized that I've not blogged for some time already. You have absolutely no idea how occupied I am for the past few weeks. Oh well.

First thing's first, I am missing Eme & Emelda more than anything in this world right now! She has been caught up with husband, check-ups, the usual laziness (especially now that she's pregnant!), and having a shitty maid who can't really be trusted to be with Emelda alone. Did I mention that she went for the scanning and found out it's a baby BOY!! Haha. A Godson for me now. Well I do hope my negligence will not be prolonged. I bet Eme will understand. =)

Weekend was alright to be fair. Had quite a back-to-back agenda and now I am really EXHAUSTED! Mr F. brought me to his football team opening party or something and I swear I was so shy and nervous and on the verge of trembling big time. But his friends were warm and friendly, and the shyness sort-of died down(a bit) afterwards. Got pissed drunk and I end up puking at 1am! Yeah being the stubborn girl I am, I was on antibiotics and I still consume alcohol. Blame it on him! Haha.

Had Fugro's Family Day @ the Beach and it was super boring! Fair enough, the crazy colleagues are there. So it somehow make it a better Saturday for me.

They actually put me in the bag and carried me to the MD(who is on the other side btw!)

And I only want to bite him and squeeze him all night long can?

Oh and here's something for Mr F...

Today I bet my life

You have no idea

What I feel inside

Don't, be afraid to let it show

For you never know

If you let it out

I love you, you love me

Take this gift and don't ask why

Cause if you, will let me

I'll take what scares you hold it deep inside

And if you, ask me why, I'm with you and why

I'll never leave

Love will show you everything

xoxo,

Liyana

Klutz

2008-08-19T13:29:00.003+08:00

I am such a klutz!

I smeared Mee Siam all over Salina's cubicle.

Had to clean it up after. Made me look like Cinderella.

Tripped over the carpet.

I just want today to end FAST!!!

2008-08-14T16:04:00.002+08:00

I looked at your face
I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the time
I saw that you couldn't care less about what you do

You couldn't care less about the lies
You couldn't find the time to cry

We forgot about love
We forgot about faith
We forgot about trust
We forgot about us

Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky,
In heaven, where it began
Back in God's hands

You said that you had said all that you had to say
You say: baby, it's the end of the day

We gave a lot but it wasn't enough
We got so tired that we just gave up

We didn't respect it
We went and neglect it
We didn't deserve it
But I never expected this

We didn't last, it's a thing of the past
No we didn't understand just what we had

2008-08-14T12:15:00.002+08:00

I'm a mess now. How could he ever do this to me?
The thoughts of everything is really pushing me to suicide.
But I still have my brother to live for. And 'the greater things in life' as well.

I am more composed now compared to yesterday. Mr F. is such a sweetheart last night.
The things that he did really touched my heart. Big time!
And I am missing him greatly already. Tsk!
And! He's leaving for Bali tomorrow with his family.
It's good to know how happy he will be with the presence of his family.
Family+Holiday = A Very Happy Mr F.?
I hope so.

Chin up Liyana!
Pfffft!

xoxo
(a very deppressed) Liyana

Better In Time

2008-08-12T16:13:00.002+08:00

I have never felt so relieved in my life before. Last night, finally took the 'burden' off my chest which was there for the past year or so.

...and for now, this song has been stuck in my head the whole effing day!!

It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock

Who's there no one

Thinking that I deserve it

Now I realise that I really didn't know

If you didn't notice you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'ma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

And even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV

Without something there to remind me

Was it all that easy

To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh

Hurt my feelings but that's the path

I believe in

And I know that time will heal it

If you didn't notice boy you meant everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'ma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

And even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me

It's time I let you go

So I can be free

And live my life how it should be

No matter how hard it is

I'll be fine without you

Yes I will...

Supervixen

Moved

Remember Me This Way

my antidotes

I'm Yours =)

Blurry

Crushed

Girlfriends are L.O.V.E

Is This You?

It's Friday I'm in Love

Di Antara Kalian

Must Watch!!

Nintendo DS

Happy Birthday to Me

Snuff

I Love You.

Blading with the clumsy one

Hibernating

my 'footballer' boyfie

Crazy Sister I Am

A New Beginning

Happy 2009!!

i don't want to lose you...

Love is in a faraway land....

I Need You

My Best Friend

Uplifting

New Blog Skin

Liyana Spotted!

Baking

Once upon a time...

Can I...

a lot of everything

The Infamous PMS!!

It's Your Love

Short Weekend *pouts*

Pig-ish

Two Choices

Monyet Malas

A Trip To Remember

Phuket

I Said I'm Sorry

Boys in Kurung

Tummy Aches and Heart Aches

PMS

Bliss*

Angel?

Rome

Ill

Eid Mubarak

Is This What You Call Love?

I Wish..

F1 Fever

Hope

F1 Grand Prix

I Miss....

Un-Noticed

Raul

Matahari Ku

You're.Stuck.In.My.Head

Bangkok Dangerous?

Fugro

F*^%K!!

No More Monday Blues! =))

Toxic

=)))))

Dreams?

=X

=))

Klutz

Better In Time

Short Weekend pouts